Hit Me With Your best Shot- Just Make It Softer Then This One

This is not the night
That I turn off the light
Though this day's the worst I've ever had
I would laugh if someone said it wasn't so bad
But then again I don't know
If laughing is my foe
If I could actually laugh right now
Feels like I was hit with a snow plow
Am I in a coma
No, if I were I wouldn't smell that bitter aroma
Of my tears and pain mixed
If I were I'd feel that sweet bliss
Of release
Of increase
Of thoughtless retreat
That you can't beat
Better than feeling this pain
I don't like playing this game
I just gotta get out
I just gotta shout
I just gotta be free
Of this horror spree
Will my nightmare ever end
Will I ever be a decent friend
Will I stop hurting the people I love
Snap me out of it, please someone shove
Me until I break
My tears form a lake
The surface icy smooth
Til my tears fall again with the truth
I'm alone in the world
My fist is curled
Around the last shred of hope
With it I can maybe cope
Until I see him again
I want to go the coma place I've never been
And maybe I can just last
Past
All this mess in a full body cast
While
Feel the rising bile
In my throat
Give my heart a quick, shoddy coat
Of glue
So that I can stop feeling so blue
It won't work for very long
I don't feel very strong
I got kicked below the belt
Feelings I have never felt
But it was a kick that I had aimed
And I don't like to play this game
Even though I already knew
That I would get kicked even worse than you

- Alisha